That statement I would have not uttered in my past. I don’t align with blaming, accusing, making excuses, and giving any power to anyone but myself. But, I’m changing my tune, thanks to my guest today. If someone runs a red light and smashes into my car, breaking my leg, I am ok to blame them for my broken leg. And admitting I now have a broken leg and can’t go run the next day. It would be dumb to blame myself or to deny the car wreck and sit around perplexed as to why my leg is broken, or blame myself for what…driving through a green light? Recognizing what happened helps me keep myself sane. Then of course, the event is over. I have a broken leg. I was in a car crash. It’s solely up to me to deal with it. To try and heal the leg. To work through the wreck so I don’t have PTSD with driving. My expert guest on this issue is Mariel Buqué. Mariel is a PhD and a Columbia University–trained trauma-informed psychologist, and professor. She has appeared as an expert on Good Morning America and Today and many other outlets, and has offered wellness talks to corporations such as Google, Capital One, and Meta. She is originally from the Dominican Republic and currently lives in New Jersey. I caught up with her recently while she was in Trinidad, to talk about the message in her new book, Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma. I feel this message is important and very useful for us all, because we all have things that happened to our ancestors that affect us.

As a culture, especially amongst aspiring people, we look at willpower like it’s a tool. Like a hammer. It’s late in the evening, you have a hankering for a snack, so just go get your hammer. Willpower. And smack that desire down. But how often can we not seem to find the hammer when we need it most? There is a reason. Your willpower is not a hammer. It’s more like your phone and all day the battery is draining. So often when you go to use it, you’ve fully depleted it. So what do you do? That’s why I’m bringing back one of the shows I refer to so, so often. Ben Hardy wrote his first book, Why Willpower Doesn’t Work, and it became a classic. I’ve had him on my show 4 or 5 times and he’s the lead story in my book, What Drives You. Ben has a PhD in organizational psychology and has written many bestselling books at this point. I’m a fan, as I feel he gets to root issues of problems we all experience. The following conversation will forever change how you view your willpower, and it will equip you to better save your willpower, and construct your environment so you don’t even have to rely on it. Find Ben anywhere at BenjaminHardy.

Randy Blythe is the lead singer and songwriter for the heavy metal band, Lamb of God. He writes and sings, you might call it yelling...even growling, very angry, aggressive, and dark music. He has the sordid past you would expect. Severe alcoholism. Jail time for manslaughter charges. You might be surprised, or not, that he's the son of a Southern Baptist pastor. And Randy has just written his second book, called Just Beyond the Light: Making Peace with the Wars Inside Our Head. I was sent an advanced copy of the book and I found Randy to be an incredibly introspective, insightful and intellectually sober individual who I resonated with significantly. His music career started in punk rock and was very political and rebelling against society. Today however, Randy readily admits the one-sided judgement of it all. He says, “If something is worth believing in…a political, religious or humanitarian position…surely it should withstand rigorous examination from a rational, educated observer with critical thinking.” He goes on to say, “If you are unwilling to question your own beliefs and just accept them at face value…you are driven by fear." He shares that he finally realized, "his own head was lying to him" and the war inside his head and the incessant conflict was just his daily, constantly shifting perception of reality. I feel this is the war in all of our heads, and it’s where my primary interest as of late is. Following is my conversation with Randy to dig into his experience and discuss our shared views on perception and reality. I found Randy incredibly thoughtful and humble, and am going to join him in Denver in a couple weeks during his national Spoken Word tour to get to know each other more. You can check out his book, Just Beyond the Light, and find him by searching for Randy Blythe.

My perspective is that we are the most divided culture ever right now. Every issue is a trigger for everyone and you are required to stand on one side or the other or be deemed negligent or ignorant. And if someone aligns with a differing side or perspective, you need to distance yourself from them. To me it feels like we’ve fallen into the most strict, religious culture ever. Everyone has their set of beliefs according to the religion of their perspective, and if you believe differently, you are judged and sentenced to crucifixion. I think it’s toxic and poisoning our society. So a book came across my desk from someone…I would not normally have on my show. But doing so, I feel, beautifully represented the point. Why is it a threat to sit and have a discussion with someone who may have differing values and perspectives? Who lives a different lifestyle? My guest is Kat Timpf. Kat is a writer, comedian, and libertarian commentator. She’s currently the co-panelist of “Gutfeld!” on Fox News weeknights at 10 p.m. and a Fox News analyst. She’s also the author of the New York Times bestseller "You Can’t Joke About That: Why Everything is Funny, Nothing is Sacred, and We’re All in This Together." Her new book is what got my attention, I Used To Like You Until…:How Binary Thinking Divides Us. Kat’s life and lifestyle couldn’t be further from my own. But I found our views on cultural division are very similar, and I was honored to sit and have this discussion with her. I think there is a lot for all of us to learn.

Talking about a good life feels like speaking to success. What makes it up? And we generally say that we must define this for ourselves. Agreed. However, my guest has been studying this for a long, long time, and to have a good life he’s found it boils down to three buckets. Categories if you will. Jonathan Fields has come to be known as “the good life guy.” He has a wildly popular podcast called The Good Life Project. I’ve had Jonathan on my show twice and often reference his profile that looks at what makes us come alive in our work, which you can find at sparketype.com. This conversation happened years ago when I sat down with Jonathan just to dig into what he’s found really makes up a good life. He had written a book called The Good Life Project that really put him on the map. I also just dug into Jonathan himself and what got him to the point to embrace this movement and become the leader he’s become and is becoming to so many people pursuing a good life. I found the conversation incredibly intriguing and believe it will give you a lot to think about in regards to how you are living, loving and leading.

Sometimes an analogy comes along that just clicks. It takes information you may have heard before and helps drive it home. That is what happened with my guest in this show regarding the brain chemicals that fuel our drive and motive. TJ POWER is a neuroscientist and innovator in the area of mental health. His work focuses on providing easy-to-adopt, scientifically backed teachings that empower people to take action towards healthier lifestyles. He has a really big following and when I got his book, I understood why. The book is, The DOSE Effect: Optimize Your Brain & Body By Boosting Your Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins, and in it, TJs explanations helped me see how I am increasing or depleting the brain chemicals I rely on to do the important work in my life. Most of us have heard much about dopamine, but do we really understand how we increase and decrease it? Then also, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. Now the point isn’t to understand each one fluently, but to understand how they help us and what we are doing in our everyday lives that help or hurt them. I was most interested in what I learned about how I’m depleting some of these chemicals early in the day, and then later it feels like I’m lacking drive and motivation. I trust in listening to this conversation, you will be able to understand what these chemicals do for us and like me, now understand how to far better leverage them to do the things you truly want to do. You can find TJ Power on Instagram @tjpower.

In the world of personal development you hear a lot of stories of people making huge changes. Rags to riches, zero to hero, and massive life turn-arounds. It makes for a great story, but is it relevant for us? In 2003 I was at a critical juncture in my life where I'd bit off more than I could chew. I abruptly quit my cycling career and business, moved my wife and three kids cross country and started a new life. It was needed. Since then, most changes have not been quite so massive. We tend to look at the circumstances to guide, if not force us to action. But now I pay attention to where my heart is. With that in mind, I bring you a story that I feel will help you consider where you are. Rich Roll. The guys is famous for his story, and today, his gigantic podcast, the Rich Roll show. Years back I sat down with Rich to dig into his story. Here are the highlights; Rich was 39 years old with degrees from Stanford and Cornell. He was a corporate lawyer, married with three kids living in a dream house he'd built. Then one evening he finds himself at home, it's 2am and he's spent hours watching TV and eating junk food and he's winded after walking up eight steps in his home. An image of his wife and daughter at her wedding in the future, and he wasn't there. He'd died from ill health. He looked in the mirror and saw a fat, out of shape, very unhealthy man, depressed, self-destructive and utterly disconnected from who he was and what he wanted to be. He said, “In that precise moment, I was overcome with the profound knowledge, not that I needed to change, but that I was WILLING to change. And I understood that any true or lasting lifestyle change would require rigor, specificity, and accountability. Vague notions of “eating better” or maybe “going to the gym more often” just weren’t going to work.” And, the rest you're about to hear more about. He became an ultra endurance athlete and now is a brand, in and of himself, of healthy living and life transformation. Find him on your podcast player, just search for Rich Roll.

Most everyone has heard of the twelve steps concept associated with Alcoholics Anonymous. I bring it here for all of us, whether you think you are addicted to anything or not, which is an arguable claim for anyone. Ian Morgan Cron is the bestselling author of The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery, which has sold over one million copies. He’s a psychotherapist, Enneagram teacher, Episcopal priest, and the host of the popular podcast Typology. I had Ian on the show before to talk about the message in his book, The Story of You: An Enneagram Journey to Becoming Your True Self. Since he was on my show, Ian, this leader of so many, relapsed. It’s not an incredibly sordid story, but he has a past history of substance abuse. All these years later, he found himself reliant on some substances and questioning himself in significant ways. In this episode we talk through his story. We talk about what Ian calls, “the great human ache.” We discuss what addiction is, the need we all have for community to keep us on a healthy path, and how the 12 steps are relevant for anyone seeking well-being. Ian breaks down how the 12 steps covers making peace with God, making peace with self, making peace with others and cultivating a healthy and fulfilling life. Ian has captured all this in a brand new book, The Fix: How the Twelve Steps Offer a Surprising Path of Transformation for the Well-Adjusted, the Down-and-Out, and Everyone In Between. I hope you’ll join us in this conversation.

I don’t think any of us chooses to wear a mask. But creating and wearing them is taught to us from early on. And in some cases, it’s a necessity to survive. Now here we are. Are we wearing a mask? More than one? I’m bringing an incredible show back from the archives. Lewis Howes is the host of the podcast, The School of Greatness, one of the biggest podcasts alive at this point. Lewis is a big, strapping looking guy. A former pro ball player. He looks like the definition of “all-American.” But few know that he began life with a learning disability, which led to being alone and bullied in school, to being sexually abused as a child. Years back he took on the topic of masculinity. Lewis’ research looked at the majority of stress, anxiety, and pressure men feel is due to the masks they wear. Now, if you’ll listen in, I feel the concept pertains very much to women too. Think of masks as certain personas we fall or buy into, and get trapped in. Then live from in a limiting life construct. Do you have any stress or anxiety? Do you feel any pressure? Would you like to be free of it? Let’s look at the masks you may find out you are wearing. You can connect with Lewis at “The School of Greatness” podcast, which you’ll find at the top of the podcast charts. You can get his book, The Mask of Masculinity, wherever you buy books, and find Lewis anywhere at Lewis Howes.